Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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