She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
