Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
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