one two three fourrrrnication!
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
