bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
