Capitaan dildo arrescate!
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
