chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
