Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
