i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
she told me i tasted like america
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
