Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
