The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Randomize
