I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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