He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
