Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
