I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
