ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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