when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
