she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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