I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize