I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
not ubering you a puppy
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
