Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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