What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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