I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
