I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
