I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Randomize
