How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
