Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
you never un-have a 4some
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize