4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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