Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I think my nap took me to another dimension
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
