Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
