Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
