Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
