We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
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