The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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