Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
But break dance skills will only take you so far
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
