My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
