Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
