You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
whose ass print is on the piano?
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
