So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
