U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Randomize
