she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
