everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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