you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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