If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
