btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
