So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
