Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
