I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
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