SEEEEXXX PLEASE
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
