Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
