You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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