are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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